October: Art by criminals, free food and meeting Alan Sugar

Other than a rant about not getting a seat on a train, I haven’t written much lately. In the last couple of months my London lunchtimes have remained interesting but I haven’t felt inclined to write about them. I’ve enjoyed exploring the Southbank Centre, which is like a university campus as there are lots of people hanging out in open spaces, and lots of rooms that have random things in them.

The exhibition Art by Offenders was a memorable one – the artwork was interesting and so were the descriptions. One of the curators had written something along the lines of ‘we not only encourage art in prisons because of its rehabilitative effects but also because it is only in prisons, and in particular psychiatric prisons, that we will find the next Van Gough’. Interesting stuff indeed, and the sort of thing you probably only find in London.

Move away from the centre of London and you’ll see that the city is a series of small towns linked together by urban sprawl. Walking through the middle of Holborn is like walking through the High Street of such a small town. I’d gone there courtesy of a free Dominoes offer in the 20p Sun newspaper. Certainly not my usual reading material but I’m not fussy when it comes to a hot lunch for 20p.

Holborn was the nearest Dominoes from my office, about a 10-minute walk away. The promotion was on for a week – on the first day it was fairly quiet but on the second day the entrance resembled a kebab shop on a Friday night as office workers and labourers jostled for their free food. One scaffolder in front of me was chancing his luck by trying to get 2 Dominoes with one voucher; the harassed guy on the till was having none of it, so the scaffolder screwed up the rest of his newspaper and threw it over the counter.

There’s something about getting something cheaply that makes many people behave rudely. Poor prices equal poor behaviour. I’d seen it before by pensioners queuing up for £1 breakfasts and families shopping in Poundland. It’s not the same for everyone though, but for many there seems to be an unwritten rule that if something is cheap or free, then not only are you not grateful for it, you are also rude when you get it.

I have now been working in London for 3 months and up until today I have not even had the slightest glimpse of anyone famous. I was quite surprised as I had expected to have seen at least a few by now. Previously I have met Noel Gallagher (at a gig in London about 10 years ago) and seen Rory McGrath (twice in Cambridge a few years ago but I’m not a fan so I didn’t bother saying hello). Today that celebrity hat trick was finally completed as I met Alan Sugar, a.k.a. Lord Sugar of Clapham. I follow Lord Sugar on Twitter so knew of today’s book signing in Waterstone’s Piccadilly and had been looking forward to it for days.

It was raining so, along with a couple of workmates up for the adventure, I took the Tube from Covent Garden to Piccadilly Circus and walked up the road to Waterstone’s. After purchasing his autobiography I got what looked like quite a small queue for the book signing. I was then reliably informed by a guy who had ‘been there since 8 o clock this morning’ that I was nowhere near the end of the queue and pointed me to a long line of people who were confusingly in front of bus stop.

Standing in the rain I got assigned a ticket by a Waterstone’s employee – I turned up at ten to one and got number 168, the guy who had been there since 8am probably got about number 68 so I think I got the better deal there. 30 minutes later I was ushered inside and up the stairs to a cordoned off area near the crime section. Waiting for my book to be signed I took a photo of Lord Sugar but it came out blurred. I then realised that was because my hand was shaking. Waiting to meet someone famous is quite nervewracking.

Approaching the desk I thought about what I was going to say and wanted to tell him that I had been enjoying his tweets, particularly the ones about Wayne Rooney. When it was my turn he looked at me prompting me to tell him what to write. ‘Jeremy’ was my one word answer to this. ‘With a G or a J?’ the Baron asked. ‘J’ I answered. ‘How do you spell that?’ he asked again. ‘J-E-R-E-M-Y’ I answered. I’d done it – I had remembered how to spell my own name. That’s not as easy as it should be when you’re face to face with one of the most famous and respected people in Britain. He quickly shut the book, prompting me to move along so the next book could be signed. Whilst I was there, my workmate Jordan took a couple of photos – the best one is here.You can see my left ear and part of the side of the face in the photo, so I'm claiming that as a photo of me and Lord Sugar.

The whole thing was quite surreal really, like a dream it almost feels that it didn’t really happen. The signature in the front of my copy of his autobiography tells me that it did though. It was a surreal but highly enjoyable way to spend my lunchtime, and one that I’ll remember for a long time.

6-20 September: The Centre of England

The travelling was starting to take its toll. I was constantly tired and had a sore throat that wouldn’t go away. Lack of sleep plus being close to other people’s germs every day (train and tube) isn’t the greatest recipe for good health. This made my decision to enjoy an hour of fresh air and light exercise every day all the more important. Lunch hours exploring the streets of London were the one thing that I did on a daily basis that was good for my health.

Like all animals humans are creatures of habit and I had got into the habit of going to the same places each lunchtime – usually Trafalgar Square or the South Bank. Eating your sandwiches and watching the world go by in Trafalgar Square is of course a great experience: Not only do you feel that you are in the centre of London (and therefore England), you get to do some quality people watching. The steps leading to the National Gallery may not have the same romance as the Spanish Steps in Rome but they are certainly not without their charms. For me, one of the most heart-warming sight to be had in London is a toddler chasing after a pigeon. The sheer joy they get from a bird that is hated by most adults is a great example of the innocence and beauty of childhood.

Trafalgar Square may be a great place to go for lunch but I was aware that I had been visiting it and my other regular lunchtime spots (South Bank, Covent Garden) all too often and it was time for a change. So the next available lunchtime I went somewhere different. Walking west along the Strand I went past Trafalgar Square and up Whitehall to Horse Guards. Normally I just pat the horses on the head when I walk past but this time I thought I’d wonder in and take a look at Horse Guards Parade, home of the famous changing of the guard.

In the archway between the street and the parade ground was a soldier in uniform standing with what appeared to be the sole reason of having is picture taken with tourists. For any man who is a trained killer this must be quite a strange experience. What’s more surprising in this finance-obsessed time is that there was no charge to have your picture taken with the soldier. Hundreds of tourists pose for photos every day and I’m sure they’d be more than happy to pay a few pounds for the privilege. If the silver spray-painted statue artists of Covent Garden do it then why shouldn’t the Household Cavalry?

After taking in Horse Guards Parade I took a side street back onto Whitehall. I looked to my left – the Foreign Office and then to my right – the Treasury Office, and wondered how many important decisions had been made in these buildings. The next thing I noticed was a fleet of brand-new 60-registration top of the range silver Land Rovers, about 20 of them, probably pool cars for the Treasury or Foreign Office. How do these vehicles, costing close to a hundred thousand pounds each, fit into the Conservative government’s promise to cut Whitehall waste?

Walking back along Whitehall I took in many of the national monuments – from the field marshals – Montgomery and Hague to the women’s memorial and the Cenotaph. There are probably hundreds in total, all in black and all memorials to the horrors that were suffered to keep Britain free. From Trafalgar Square to Whitehall, wherever you are in this part of the city you can’t help but feel that you are in the centre of London and therefore the centre of England. So it’s perhaps no surprise that many people who live and work in the capital think that London is England. Of course it’s not, it’s a very different and unique place – one that I have the pleasure of exploring every day.

23 August – 3 September: Why is Chinese food cheap? How do Covent Garden street performers earn any money? And what do Canadians drink?

If, like me, you occasionally go to Victoria Embankment Gardens to eat your lunch then you’ll notice the dozens of workmen, strewn out on the grass, relaxing after a hard morning’s labour. Their labour is to refurbish one of the most famous hotels in the world – the Savoy. I had a quick wonder past this famous hotel to see what the workmen had been up to, but there’s not much to see from the outside at the moment. Apparently when it reopens in October there’ll be an Art Deco bar open to the public, so I’ll definitely have a look in there, though it will probably cost me about £10 for a drink.

Disappointed by the current state of the Savoy I decided it was time to see some major sights again. So one lunchtime, myself and my workmates walked through Covent Garden, on to Leicester Square, then past the Trocadero to Piccadilly Circus, through the streets of Soho and then back down through Chinatown. I hadn’t realised how close everything is in central London – the above sights and the ones previously mentioned in this blog are all within about 20 minutes walking distance of each other.

Of course it’s fine to go for a walk when the weather’s nice but on the day that I saw these sights it was unfortunately raining. Leicester Square may be the scene of many glamorous film premieres but on a wet Wednesday lunchtime it isn’t that stunning. Likewise with Soho – infamous as a setting for nighttime debauchery but during the day you’d hardly realise it. There’s a few signs for strip bars and sex shops but it appears positively tame compared to, say, the red light district of Amsterdam.

Chinatown is distinctive because of its smell – the aromatic smell of sweet and sour sauce flavoured with MSG. There’s a lot of all you can eat £3.99 lunchtime buffets in Chinatown; which while good value makes you wonder why Chinese food can be so cheap. Illegal labour and questionable food hygiene practices were the first answers that came to my slightly xenophobic mind. I’m sure it still tastes good though.

We went back to Covent Garden a few days later to spend lunchtime as a tourist. Covent Garden is famous for its street performers, and large crowds stand round watching drawn-out performances by budding entertainers. The large crowds are annoying if you’re in a hurry to get to the Tube station to catch the train home, so we thought we’d join them for a change. It didn’t last long as the performance we saw by an amateur magician was typically poor. Yet the crowds still took it all in – probably because it was their one day out in London and they wanted to take in as much as they could, good or bad.

One thing we did notice around Covent Garden was the large amount of pubs and bars that are within a short walk of the famous market square. These vary in quality from traditional pubs to soulless wine bars (All Bar One) to themed nationality bars (we noticed one Australian, one South African, one Irish and even one Canadian – which begged the question: what do Canadians drink?)

We didn’t know so the following lunchtime we went for the safe choice of the Irish bar – the Porterhouse. I like real ale and was impressed to find that this place had a beer menu about 10 pages long. I settled for an enjoyable pint of something refreshing and fruity (I forget the name, though it was English and began with a ‘w’) and flicked through the menu, thinking how I could happily spend the rest of the day there, trying to drink my way through the beer menu alphabet.

Which brings me back to a familiar theme – if you’ve got the money then you are spoilt for choice for places to go for a drink in central London. This blog could quite easily turn into a review of all the beers in the Porterhouse or all the pubs in central London; I’d have to start remembering the names of the beers I’ve drank though.

16-20 August: From the outskirts of provincial city to the heart of a capital city

It’s strange how quickly people adapt to new situations. Despite my apprehension about working in London I had got used to it quickly and the first fortnight had flown by. I spent a few moments of Sunday evening wondering where I was going to explore the next day, until I realised that I would be back in my previous Peterborough office for a 3-day training course.

Back in London on Thursday I was determined to make up for my break away from the city, so when I was asked by workmates where to go for lunch I purposely led them on a whistle-stop tour of as many of London’s landmarks it was possible to see in an hour. Walking along Victoria Embankment past the London Eye and the old City Hall, we journeyed up to the Houses of Parliament and then turned right past the Cabinet War Rooms, the Cenotaph, Downing Street and Horseguards before negotiating the traffic to sit by one of the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

Spending your lunch in the heart of London, in one of the most famous landmarks in the world is an interesting experience. As I ate my lunch I watched the hundreds of tourists as they posed for photos, climbed on the lions and negotiated their way past what is left of the famous pigeons. Doing something everyday like eating your lunch in a location that's a once in a lifetime destination to many international tourists is slightly surreal.

The first time I was in Trafalgar Square would have been about 20 years ago when I enjoyed a fun day out in London with my mum and brother. There were a lot more pigeons then – mainly because bird food was sold to tourists and feeding them was a popular activity. Indeed, one of the highlights of any family’s day out in London was to take handfuls of birdseed and to get as many of the birds to perch on your arms as possible. They don’t sell birdseed in Trafalgar Square anymore as pigeons are now considered vermin rather than tourist attractions. I think I prefer how it used to be.

If the sight of flocks of pigeons used to tell you that you’re in Trafalgar Square, then the sight of joggers today tells you that you’re on the Embankment. I don’t understand why anyone would want to spend their lunchtime getting hot and sweaty in front of tourists by jogging along the riverside streets of London. But many people do it; hundreds pound the streets every day as they use their precious lunchtime to cram in 40 minutes or so of exercise. Embankment joggers come in all shapes and sizes and wear the same face of determination as they weave in and out of sightseers and other workers like myself who have chosen a more leisurely way to spend their lunch hour.

Friday’s lunch hour was as leisurely as you can get, with a beer and a burger in a nearby pub. It’s easy to see why there’s a drinking culture amongst many people who work in London. There’s a lot of temptation and of course you don’t have to worry about driving, so I sympathise with any alcoholics who work in an office in the centre of London. Thankfully I can enjoy my Friday lunchtime pint without feeling the need to spend every lunchtime drinking – after all, there’s a lot more of London for me to see yet.

2-13 August: From the Houses of Parliament to St Paul’s Cathedral

A fortnight ago I found out that with immediate notice I was going to be working full-time in London. I was naturally both excited and nervous about the move – excited by working in an international city and meeting new people, yet nervous about how I would get on in this new world and how I would manage spending 20 hours a week travelling to and from my Norfolk home.

To make the most of my time in London and to make sure that I got some sort of a break, I promised myself that I would take a full lunch hour every day where I would explore the many streets and sights of our capital city and maybe even bump into a few celebrities. I am fortunate that my new office is very central, just off The Strand and within walking distance of many of London’s major landmarks; so I’m spoilt for choice for places to go to at lunch. Which certainly makes a change from my previous location on an industrial estate on the edge of an unattractive regional city.

So far I’ve trekked south to the South Bank and the Millennium Wheel, west to Downing Street and the Houses of Parliament and east to St Paul’s Cathedral. Between that I’ve sat in the small parks of the Embankment, walked to the OXO Tower, and eaten sandwiches outside the church behind the back of the Savoy Hotel. These lunch hours have been spent in the company of workmates, who like me have found London an inspiring place to work. Admiring world-famous scenery as you eat your sandwiches really does make up for having to endure daily long commutes.

Anything is possible in London. Perhaps that’s why the English branch of the Church of Scientology is located in the City of London, a short walk from St Paul’s and a few steps away from a traditional Church of England church. I had to take a double take as I walked past this ‘church’ which looked more like an office, with its plasma TV screens in the windows displaying messages that attempted to encourage passers by with ‘free refreshments and free presentations’. The juxtaposition of this office-like building, a few steps away from the Church of England church almost didn’t seem out of place, this being London.

London’s not all great of course. It is obviously very dirty, overcrowded and expensive. Just steps away from multi-million pound office buildings are filthy underpasses that stink of urine and are homes to some of the city’s homeless. It is quite incredible that with all the money in the capital, nobody is prepared to pay to clean up the many parts of the city that clearly haven’t been touched for over 30 years.

I celebrated the end of my first fortnight working in London with a pub lunch with workmates. If you’ve got some money and have no ties, London is like a massive playground. There’s so much to do, so many places to go – for someone like me who’s used to provincial towns and small cities, it really all is quite amazing.

I’m determined to make the most of my time in the capital, so will continue touring the many free sights of London Monday to Thursday, before celebrating the end of the working week with a pub lunch on Fridays. I still haven’t seen anyone famous though – not yet anyway.